Hey peeps! It’s been almost a year since I mentioned this so I just want to quickly remind you guys that you can help contribute to charitable causes simply by clicking a web button. Doing so takes up an almost imperceptible fraction of your daily surfing time. In fact, donating to The Animal Rescue Site would take about the time it took you to read this sentence. One click. No lie. The clicks from yesterday alone provided 186,935 bowls (42.4 metric tons) of food.
Plus, everything you buy from them provides shelter animals with necessary relief. And, seriously, who wouldn’t want this incredible t-shirt? (I mean besides mailmen and people on the lam, of course.)
By the way, The Animal Rescue Site is a part of GreaterGood.org. If you like the idea of giving just by clicking, you will want to also visit the GreaterGood sites for World Hunger, Breast Cancer, Child Health, Literacy, and Protection of Rainforests.
This song kicks arse, and, because of its rocky and yet sort of sad / poignant feel, reminds me of Gotye's "Hearts a Mess". If you non-Aussies haven't discovered Gotye yet, you must must must. Anyhoo, check out MGMT's "Kids".
I got home last night after BodyBalance, ate a huge bowl of pasta with ridiculous amounts of garlic and cheese, and then called my Mum. And sobbed. It felt good to do, because I had been holding it in for about 4 days. I don't have anyone here who I can show my real panic or stress levels to, who can tell me that I am strong, and tough, and capable, and that it will all be okay.
My mum gave me sensible advice, and as usual it was stuff I already knew but fail to remember. I need to block out all the office politics, all the crap, and get as much work done as possible over the next few days before MotherHen leaves. I need to be head down, bum up and just not get caught up in the gossip and crap.
This is all quite hard to do. The 4 lawyers here basically work in one giant communal office, and lots of the other staff come to visit and chat. It is hard not to get drawn into things, particularly if, like me, you have a natural instinct to try and help people sort out their problems and issues.
But today I am so depressed by the whole situation that I've put the headphones in, and am just getting on with it. I don't think I can talk to anyone about anything, because I have no energy left. My light was off at 10pm last night, and sleep came (miraculously) at about 12am, and yet this morning I woke up at 7am feeling like I'd been hit in the head by a brick. My whole body feels heavy and sad.
And yet, I'm just not ready to leave this job. There are things I want to do, to achieve, and I feel like if I leave before those things happen then I will always have regrets. But perhaps I will always have that feeling - there is always more that could be done for Aboriginal rights, and there is never a clear end point.
And I'm not ready to leave G-town. Despite my feeling isolated and lonely a lot lately, I feel like if I left now it would be a waste of all the efforts I've been making to settle in and make a life for myself here. And I don't know what I would be going back to. I don't have any clue about what job I would want to do in The City, and whether I would move home or find a sharehouse again. Apart from anything, the prospect of moving again just seems too exhausting and expensive. I can't move unless my parents help me financially, or I find a job which would be prepared to pay for my relocation. Both of which are in theory feasible, but wholly unattractive. And, despite the isolation, I like living here. The size of the town, the country atmosphere, the small community I'm trying to integrate myself into, the people in this office, the life I'm bit by bit building for myself... I like it all.
There isn't a lot else I could really do in G-town. I could work for the Aboriginal Legal Service, but that would feel like moving sideways, ie still doing community work with much the same constituency, and probably facing the same internal politics issues. I think I will be too burned out for that after this. I feel like when I leave this job I will need a break - time at home not working, or maybe to head overseas for a few months. But I'm not in a position to do either of those, especially not financially.
I guess what I'm faced with is an incredibly dysfunctional, difficult, stressful and almost traumatising job which I love and hate in equal amounts, an unwillingness to admit defeat or to abandon my clients, an unpreparedness to face the future or to even decide what future I want, and a lack of financial freedom to decide my next move on my terms.
All of which makes me just want to snuggle on the couch with my Mum. I'm hanging out for next weekend, when I'll be in The City and can seek comfort in the arms of my friends, family and puppy.
Gimme a V! Gimme an O! Gimme an X! What's that spell? VOX!
What better way to tell the world how much you love Vox than to announce it on Facebook? That's right: Vox now has an official Facebook page! Become a fan of Vox.com on Facebook and let your friends know what you really care about: staying connected with friends and family through blog posts, photos, videos and comments.
Once you're a fan, you can also add photos and videos to the page, write on the wall, and connect with other Voxers in ways you may not have previously. Plus, it's a great opportunity to let people know about your Vox blog, or start discussion topics. To become a fan, just visit the official Vox.com Facebook page and click the "Become a Fan" button in the upper right hand corner.
Once you've joined, why not post a response to the current discussion topic? Just post a link (and a brief description, if you'd like) to what you consider one of your all-time best Vox posts.
What are you waiting for? Become a Vox.com fan on Facebook today!
Things I Loathe:
- Losing my supervisor. Again. I'm dreading going through this again. I can only hope that the anticipation is worse than the actual event, but that seems incredibly unlikely.
- Rental inspections. Today better go okay. I didn't get to mow the lawn - MotherHen and I went to her place to get the lawnmower only to realise that there was no fuel in it. Doh!
- Management who JUST DON'T GET IT.
- Being pissy at my BFF. When she isn't fighting with her stupid boyfriend, I don't hear from her all that much. I know that she is really really busy with her new job, but how can she not realise that things are really hard for me ATM? I'm isolated from my family and friends, work is kind of falling apart, and my grandfather is being treated for cancer. Where is she? Yeah, I could call her, but my very stubborn side says I shouldn't have to.
- Being exhausted but not being able to sleep because I'm stressed and can't stop thinking about work.
Things I Love:
- Eye drops.
- My knuckle duster esque ring. Makes me feel purty.
- Basil aioli. I made a batch on the weekend with soy mayo and it was soooo gooooood. Way too good. I can feel my stomach expanding just thinking about it. It is like ahhhh-mazing on toasted turkish bread with swiss cheese, salami and spinach. Oh yeah baby.
- The anticipation of receiving my subversive cross stitch packs in the mail. I got myself "Don't Make Me Cut You" and I bought "Homo Sweet Homo" for my little bro for Christmas. I want to give him something (a) funny and (b) which tells him how proud I am of him for being strong and brave and OUT and PROUD.
- Having a vacuum cleaner that actually works! My room is sooo hair and dust free right now. Go me.
So I guess the newest idiot remark by John McCain that has the blogosphere pointing and laughing comes from his appearance today on Good Morning America:
DIANE SAWYER: Do you agree the situation in Afghanistan is precarious and urgent?
JOHN MCCAIN: Well, I think it's very serious. I think it's a serious situation.
SAWYER: Not precarious and urgent?
MCCAIN: Oh, I don't know exactly-- run through the vocabulary. But it's a very serious situation. But there's [sic] a lot of things we need to do. We have a lot of work to do and I'm afraid that it's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq/Pakistan border. And I would not announce that I'm going to attack Pakistan as Senator Obama did...
Now, I’ll agree the bolded section of the block quote appears at first glance to be a profoundly stupid statement. But all the harping about how Iraq and Pakistan don’t share a border is misguided and easily countered by right-wing apologists with the very valid assertion that live television allows very little room for error and McCain simply misspoke, saying “Iraq” when he meant “Iran”. Everywhere I look, that’s the repeated verbal volley.
But maybe everyone is so focused on the specifics of what McCain said that they’re missing the implication of his words. Maybe McCain didn’t misspeak at all, but rather uttered that sentence exactly as he had rehearsed it. His doddering persona may have fooled the masses into thinking he isn’t capable of clever innuendo – and he probably isn’t – but I can’t help but feel a twang of suspicion when I hear a presidential candidate known for joking about bombing Iran basically refer to that same area as just a border between the two countries on either side of it.
One last thing. Obama never said he would attack Pakistan – that's yet another lie made up by Dubya – but isn't it funny that McCain took that shot anyway, especially considering his afore-mentioned "Bomb Iran" guffaw?
I'm just sayin'.
I'm sure that this will be HIGHLY controversial, but how much does Amy Gardner suck? Yeah I know, Mary Louise Parker kicks serious butt etc, but still, I hate the character of Amy. And not just because I am clearly in the Donna+Josh4eva camp, but also because she is seriously irritating. She is a myopic character, who only cares about her own agenda and not how it affects others. She is pushy pushy pushy. I know she is meant to be quirky and powerful and inspiring, but fundamentally she is a whiny pain in the buttinski.
Anyway, back to the usual programming.
Blergh. Came home from work trip last week to discover a letter informing me of a rental inspection tomorrow. Housiemate and I spent Saturday afternoon pulling out these big muthafuckin weeds out of the lawn and back patio clothesliney bit. Fun! Not. But still, it needed to be done, and a rental inspection turned out to be the impetus I needed. I also did a good cleaning of the bathroom, but stupidly had an attack of lazyness at about 4pm and decided to put off doing the oven until tonight. Forgetting, of course, that I have an oxfam meeting tonight. Plus, have to pick up MotherHen's lawnmower and mow the lawn tonight as well!
Waaaaah. Everything always comes at once, and always when I have PMS. Giant pimple on my chin at the moment, which is making me very unhappy (you know, along with my work life falling apart).
Oh well... have done a bit of internet shopping today - some subversive cross stitch patterns (may as well do something while I watch copious amounts of telly) and Mac OsX Leopard for my lapytoppy. Therapy, thy name is credit card! Bad Mathilde.
MotherHen is leaving. In two weeks. This is BAD. I've been through this sort of event once before, and it wasn't good. I'm a helluva lot stronger now, but I'm worried about doing it all over again. But what is my alternative? I can't quit my job and return to The City... I'm not ready for that yet.
Shit shit shit.
Sorry to be two months late, but the news escaped me at the time. In an article on Rush in the latest Rolling Stone (the one with my man Barack on the cover), it's mentioned that their original drummer, John Rutsey, died from complications of diabetes in May. Apparently he mostly dropped out of the music scene after leaving the band in 1974. He appears on just one album, their debut Rush, but he was with them a good while, having joined in 1968.
(In other Rush news--and I'm getting to this one just a few days late--the band appeared Wednesday on The Colbert Report. Good performance. Plus, the director mispronounces Neil Peart's last name.)
Happy trails, John.
