Pryde comes before a fall...

This weekend I noticed a new review for an Ellen Page flick called Mouth to Mouth. It was made around 2004, but has been re-released on the back of her Juno buzz... assuming it ever got a release to begin with. Incidentally, she had to shave her head for the role, which explains why her hair is so short in Hard Candy, as it was just starting to grow back. She almost didn’t get that latter gig, because of how severe her ‘do looked when she auditioned! Anyway, Mouth to Mouth did not get a great write-up, and is classified as only 50% “fresh” at the Rotten Tomatoes review aggregate site. Really, it’s rather mean of them to go dredging up her old work... especially since I’m sensing something of a backlash, based on her more recent work.

I’m no cinemaven it’s true, and I can only go by vague “vibes” I pick up from comments sections, reviews and interviews, but here’s how I see it: Ellen Page is a fantastically gifted and talented young actress, with nuance up the ying-yang. She’s also quite short, petite and brunette, and is in severe danger of being typecast as the go-to “Acerbic Teenager”... and there’s no doubt that she plays those roles brilliantly, but by now she could probably play them in her sleep... to the point where she’s played out, if you see what I mean. I know Christina Ricci has commented that she feels her height holds her back, in terms of the roles she’s offered. Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know... but I’d place Page in the same general category as Ricci and Thora Birch... her fellow “Enids”... and unfortunately Enids never seem to get the careers they deserve. There may or may not be justice in The Universe as a whole, but there sure ain’t any justice in Hollywood. I know this is an old gripe, but look at where Birch is now, compared to where Scarlett Johansson is! Come to think of it... where is Birch these days? Dammit!

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Compounding Page’s “problem” (which may all be in my imagination, I admit) is the fact that almost all of her roles have been in fairly naturalistic pieces... either indie flicks, or pseudo-indie-flicks. The one exception to that rule is X-Men: The Last Stand, which she was apparently very reluctant to sign on for. And that’s a shame, because I think a “genre” film would be just what her career needs at this point... whether or not she thinks it’s “beneath her” (and there’s some evidence to suggest that she probably does), the fact is that it would help break the pattern of superficially similar roles we’ve seen her in. Also, genre fans are notoriously loyal (i.e. obsessive) once you’ve won their hearts, so it doesn’t hurt to have them on side... right? Granted Dungeons & Dragons didn’t do much for Birch’s reputation, but that’s about as bad as “genre” movies get. I think a full Kitty “Shadowcat” Pryde flick could be good for Page... as well as for her fans. As Robert Downey Jr. explained to Jonathan Ross recently, he took the Iron Man role partly because he wanted more than seven people to actually see his work! There’s no harm in being an Artist, and in having high intellectual standards, but... heck, even Crispin Glover did the Charlie’s Angels films! And why did he do them? For the money, plain and simple... so that he could continue to fund more personal, and “artistic” films to satisfy his own muse. There are plenty of performers out there who manage to balance the films they do for themselves, with the films they do for their bank balance. Life, sadly, is about compromise... or so I’m told.

Of course, it’s none of my business, and I know nothing. I just find myself caught in a frustrating dilemma where I love watching Page work, but simultaneously have no interest in the actual projects she’s pursuing at present. And if she insists on putting the fcking Moldy Peaches in another film, she might well break the back of my goodwill. But heck, why would FHM’s 61st “Sexiest Woman in the World” need career guidance from me? Answer: She doesn’t. But Thora Birch should totally call me.

PS. In the same newspaper supplements as the review I mentioned above, there was an interview with Hayden “The Cheerleader” Panettiere, in which she supposedly claimed “I know for a fact I have a higher IQ than 99 per cent of brunettes”. No offence, but I think that may be a slight over-exaggeration... or she's confusing herself with Ellen Muth.